Monday, October 8, 2007
Farewell to Max for Now
Max died tonight, just after midnight. I think he had a heart attack. I held him in my arms. The details are recorded in my hand written diary, and I'll not repeat them here, but it was a good ending, a little suffering (he arched and cried out) during what I think was the initial heart attack and twice more which I think were more heart attacks, but definitely less suffering than if I'd taken him to the vet, and in the actual end, he just slowly stopped breathing so he was able to relax to a degree and let go. He was conceived, born, lived and now died in this home. It was right how it all happened.
I felt very strongly that his mother, White, who died 2 1/2 years ago was waiting for him because I suddenly was telling Max to go to his mom, that she was waiting for him and I don't feel like I conceived that thought in my own mind.
I held him for a long time afterward, wiped his face, brushed him, let the other cats see him, I held him some more, cut a lock of his famous "curly belly hair" to save, then I buried him, in a cotton blanket with his mouse that he liked to fetch held in his paw, just after 2am.
I promised him that when it's my time to die, that I'll be as brave as he was. I know that he will be there to greet me.