Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Prospective of a Biological Dad
The dryer at my apartment is broken so I've been going to the laundromat lately. Tonight I met a man and we started talking about education, which, naturally, led me to mention that I'm adopting and plan to homeschool. He then began telling me about his daughter who was reliquished for a closed adoption as an infant. I can't remember his exact words, but they weren't "gave her up" for adoption, they were actually more straight forward than that and a little stark. I wish I could remember, exactly, because I was a little surprised at how he worded it. However, he clearly loves her and she contacted him 4 years ago when she was 19. He told me how glad he is to have her in his life and how he wishes things could be a little different and that he's the one who had some fantasies he had to let go of. Mostly, he sees himself as his daughter's father, but she sees him as Mac (his name) and her dad her adoptive dad. He has not had any more children but hopes to in the future. It was amazing how this man shared his thoughts with me about this and I'm very grateful that he did. It's not often we here how the dads feel and what they wish for.
Interestingly enough, he currently had a Chinese girlfriend and oversees 6 Chinese social workers at work, so he's very familiar with Chinese culture.