Sunday, August 3, 2008

Darling Died

My cat, Darling, died today. About a week ago I noticed she was super skinny all-of-a-sudden, and had stopped eating and was breathing hard. I felt it was her time to go so I spoon-fed her, something she and I have done a lot due to various food issues, and I watched her. She started laying in places she never did before, like the hardwood floor and behind the litterbox.

Thursday night I was sure she was nearly gone. The effort of crossing the room to get to the litterbox caused her to start panting, but she soon stopped and went back to what she'd been doing, breathing through her nose but with a lot of effort.

Friday I finally found a vet I thought I could trust and he turned out to be great. I still knew it was her time to go, but wanted blood work done because she was showing amazing strength by lasting this long through this. The vet felt a "mass" in her abdomen and I could feel it, too.

Saturday morning, the vet called. The blood work showed everything normal but her white cell count was in the thousands, probably meaning she had cancer.

I stayed up late Saturday night, but she hung in there and when I made my bed on a mat next to her on the floor, she got up and moved away. Two night previously I'd put her on my bed and she wouldn't stay so it was obvious she didn't want me hovering, just near. She also voluntarily ate a tiny, tiny bit of chicken babyfood. I was glad of this because it prevents stomach acid build-up.

This morning I heard her breathing as I woke up so I knew she was still alive. She'd gone potty near the litterbox (she tended to only put her front have in over the last two days) and laid down in the playroom on the rubber mats. I gave her some water in her mouth to moisten it, subcutaneous fluids to prevent dyhydration which I'd been doing once a day since Friday. Dehydration can cause pain and the fluids prevent that and helped her muster her strength. I also was giving her a pill left over from Max for high blood pressure. She didn't have high blood pressure as far as I knew, but the pill acts by slowing the heart. Her heart rate was over 200 beats per minute, extremely fast, and on the medication it slowed enough to ease her breathing so she could sleep. I'm glad I had this because I couldn't have gotten it.

I went to church and when I got home two hours later, she'd passed in what looked like a very peaceful manor. It's a miracle really. Two days ago I put a blanket over three sides of the piano bench and made a sort of cave but she wouldn't go in there or stay if I put her there. I put a waterproof quilted pad on the floor there, too, in case she died and released her bladder. Well, she was in there when I got home. She'd gone from the playroom to there, knowing it was her dying spot, and she looked exactly as she has, lying on her side with her head on a little pillow, legs outstretched. She wasn't arched and contorted. It looked like she simply slipped away.

I let the other cats see her and I held her a bit and then buried her. I still have her sister, Pooch.

I now have 7 cats. Since beginning my adoption, I've had two cats and my grandmother die. It feels like God is opening up a space on Earth for my daughter.

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