Sunday, September 12, 2010
Jie Jie Thoughts
I read some of the comments on Rumor Queen on her post mentioning the new Special Interest child list. One comment did say that a single woman did adopt concurrently so I'm continuing to give this much thought and research.
The more people I tell about it, the better because it helps me think of it more and more to hear myself talk about it. I'm getting some valuable insights from moms with more than one child, too.
Here are some things I thought about today...
1. If I adopt a much older child, like a 10 yr. old, she will be 11 or 12 by the time Apple comes home. Will it be harder with that large of an age span to bond as sisters and develop and strong enough relationship that will last through adulthood? Remember, if Jie Jie goes to college at 18, Apple may be only 7 yrs. old.
2. If I adopt a toddler or preschooler, do I give her the things I've bought for Apple or buy for her specifically in mind. I began to imagine Jie Jie in Apple's crib and that was fine, but what about Apple's bedding? What about the baby doll I bought for Apple? I feel VERY loyal to Apple and in the things I've done to specifically prepare for HER. I don't feel that way about the clothes. In fact, adopting a toddler means I already have most of her clothes.
3. If I get an older child, do I put her in Apple's room then move her later to the "small" room or put her in my current room, which is the only room that can accommodate two children? How would Jie Jie feel being moved for Apple. I know this happens to bio kids all the time, but if I have Jie Jie for only a year and then Apple's referral comes, Jie Jie may feel displaced.
4. If Jie Jie is over 8 years old, she will have been in school and have highly developed Mandarin skills, reading as well as writing. I want to preserve this and I think the only way to FULLY preserve it is to enroll her in Chinese school, higher a tutor (my own Mandarin teacher comes to mind), and I plan to bring back as many children's books from China as I can pack. The public library also has a Chinese branch with good selection. If Jie Jie is not in school when I adopt her, I will homeschool her as planned with Apple.