Sunday, November 14, 2010

Strength of Prayer

It has been tense here at home lately. This is an understatement!

Deciding to commit to adopt The Child of my Heart.
Finding that child inaccessible.
Discovering there is a small measure of hope in adopting the child.
Shopping for a new car without a way to pay for it.
Not wanting to spend a dime so I can save for The Child of my Heart.

My tension has a physical manifestation in the tight wad of muscle down the right side of my neck that won't relax and feels like a charlie horse. I call it my money pain. When I things are tight, the muscle gets tight.

I went to church last week and again today. I used to go every Sunday, but after moving into the house, there seems to be too much to do or I simply need to rest. Not any more. I need to feed my spirit to maintain the strength of my faith. Faith takes energy!

Today, one of the lessons mentioned this:

"Divine covenants make strong Christians. I urge each one to qualify for and receive all the priesthood ordinances you can and then faithfully keep the promises you have made by covenant. In times of distress, let your covenants be paramount and let your obedience be exact. Then you can ask in faith, nothing wavering, according to your need, and God will answer. He will sustain you as you work and watch. In His own time and way He will stretch forth his hand to you, saying, “Here am I.”"

I've discovered it's my time to be more obedient to God and to reach for the next level of ordinances He has set for me to attain. I'm asking so much of Him lately and He is definitely working overtime for me. I feel His comfort and His love for me and He has directly answered each of my prayers. He has put people in my life, even if only over the internet, who have inspired me, supported me, and who have helped me on my journey toward The Child of my Heart. So many people have prayed for me and for her and continue to do so. Please, I beg you to continue to pray for us!

This miraculous journey is in a hard phase right now. I am waiting for others to determine my fate and the fate of The Child of my Heart. This kind of waiting is much, much different from my waiting for Apple. I already know that Apple will come into my life with a certainty that is unwavering. I am secure in my wait for her because I know she will be waiting for me at the end of my long wait.

I do not know if The Child of my Heart will be waiting for me at the end of this journey. I am fighting a system I can only influence through the power of prayer.

This was a journey I instigated, a path I have to forge, a road I have to pave myself. It's not my easy road to Apple, but one I have to forge upon unforgiving ground, through thick, unyielding brush. This is the road I hope to walk soon, that will lead to The Child of my Heart. It is upon this road where I will prove that I am worthy to be her mother.

*********1 hr. 10 min. later: As I prayed a few moments ago, I suddenly realized that God is carrying me on my new road because the it is such a hard road. I am too grateful for words.

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