Friday, December 24, 2010

Childless Christmas

I'm really feeling it this year! My desire to be a mother, to have a child, a family, is enveloping me.

I can hear a little voice calling me mama. I can feel a tug on my shirt as a little one clamours for my attention. I go to sleep each night feeling like I'm going to be awakened by a cry in night that I will have to respond to.

I can imagine a little face, eyes wide, mouth in a wonderous O, as the tree is lit for the first time. I keep feeling like I need to bundle up myself and a little child so we can walk over to my little town's Christmas Tree Lane and see all the lights and visit Santa.

I have presents that should be wrapped and placed under my tree to be opened in the morning by small hands.

I feel like I should have bought a pink bicycle to go under the tree for a certain little six year-old.

Next year...

1 comment:

Eliza2006 said...

I feel for you. Life can be terribly lonely without children to share it with. Your time is coming.