Sunday, December 12, 2010
Update #12 Not Good News
The other family decided to adopt the Child of My Heart. Their agency called mine to let them know they were waiting on one more doctor's report and then would most likely lock the file and submit their Letter of Intent. Since my agency hasn't heard back from them, I assume that this is exactly what they did.
My heart is aching and I cannot even imagine another child at this moment (except Apple, of course). I've tried looking at some pictures, but my heart is so full of my little almost daughter that there isn't room right now for someone else.
The only hope that is left is if this family didn't actually lock and their agency didn't let mine know, or they did lock and something happens along the way in the next several months that disrupts their process.
It's such a strange feeling to have been so committed to this and then to have it disintegrate in a second. If and when I feel ready to look at another child, I'm sorry to say it will be in a very guarded manner to avoid a repeat of this experience. I'm sorry about it, because I feel it takes an open heart to search all these files and pictures and decide if I can be the mother to one of them only to have someone else tell me yes or no in the end.
I know this now, the Waiting Child adoption arena is cut-throat. Agencies are looking for the children with the least of the special needs to grab for their special focus lists because their clients are most likely to accept these children. Next go the cutest looking children with moderate special needs, then the cutest onew with more severe needs.
I've read some amazing blogs lately written by families who adopted extraordinary children. Many children were found by their families when the families travelled to adopt their first child and visited the orphanage and saw them. Another family adopted a little girl who is still alive by the grace of God. Her little heart is so deformed that they weren't sure if she'd survive the trip home, but this little girl goes around all day long telling everyone how happy she is. She might be a candidate for a heart transplant, but I'm not sure. I'm adding these blogs to my blog list so you can read them, too.