Saturday, May 14, 2011

Living My Dream

I took a late night walk tonight, something Jie Jie and I love. I tucked her into the pram under a pile of quilts and she giggled and pointed at the moon as she drifted off the sleep and I got a bit of exercise. Tonight I went about 4 miles over an hour's time and it gave me a chance to reflect of the fact that I am living my dream and loving it! Motherhood is exactly as I'd imagined it would be. I've fit right in to this new phase of life with my daughter and the adjustments have been welcome and come naturally to me.

As I walked, I revelled in her giggles and my heart was bursting with joy in the knowledge that tonight my little girl fell asleep giggling and happy. I also marvelled that she fit into the pram and loved it. The last two walks we took, I used the seat part, but tonight it was windy and I wanted to make absolutely certain that she'd be warm. When I unbundled her afterward, she was very warm and next time I think I can leave off the bathrobe and gloves. But, honestly, not too many 7 year-olds fit into prams or even want to try them. I love that I have opportunities here and there to do the things I'd have done with her had she been my daughter during her infancy. It has been great for our bonding. Earlier today I even used the Ergo since she needed some "time-in" with mama during daycare hours when I had to work. It works like a charm every time!

Now on to today's entertainment: Photos!

This first photo going to be our standand Mother-Daughter pose since I can easily propped the camera up on the cat climber and set the time. Taken May 7, 2011 as we were all dolled up to go into San Francisco to the Yanni concert at the historic Warfield Theater.

First Mother's Day flowers, from the woman who came to China with me.

First face painting from the art fair last weekend.

Jie Jie didn't want to disturb Henry, so she pretended to be asleep with him.

Just two little eyes peeking out before she fell asleep.


Karen said...

Very sweet pictures. Im curious about two things. Who is that picture of, on the left side of the piano? Is that a grandparent? Also, adopting an older child, has there been any real difficulties? It seems so smooth for you. Isn't it amazing when you KNOW it was meant to be? I don't believe that we are given children at random. I believe we choose each other (probably before we are even born). And then everything aligns.
Hugs, Karen

K said...

Yikes, I just lost my entire reply...

Okay, here I go again:

Wow, we are up late!

The picture in the background is my Tutu, my maternal grandmother. I blogged a lot about her before she died in Jan. 2008.

There have not been any real difficulties at all pertaining to adopting my child. Everything we've experienced has been better than I ever imagined. For example, her episodes of grief are much fewer than I anticipated and have shortened considerably as we've built trust and gotten to know each other better. She's a great sleeper. Yes, most of her grief episodes happen at bedtime, but I'm talking only once or twice a week and for 5-15 minutes max and then she's asleep for the rest of the night.

No food issues.
No pet issues.
No bonding issues, but I've been very proactive in doing all the right things to fascilitate that. She also came to me ready and eager for a mama, very open.

She's essentially healthy, but does require further corrective surgery. She has definitely displayed post traumatic stress pertaining to medical care. I've been fortunate that she is in a position to delay a doctor's visit for so long which has given us time to build up trust and a system to managing her fear.

I taught her to tell me she's afraid in Mandarin and gave her options on what she can do. For example, if someone is getting too close, she can put her hand up in front of her to indicate to stop and I said she can say, "No!" at the same time. I will also pick her up and she knows that all she needs to do is put her arm up and I'll know it what she wants. She can also hold my hand and have me come with her, or we can simply avoid whatever is scaring her, if appropriate, like large dogs.

I am consistant and clear in my methods. I've learned to set definite limits on the amount of new things I introduce whether it's food, toys, places, people. A couple times I thought she was doing so well and did something, like took her to the Discovery Bay Museum, and she really wasn't ready for it because I couldn't explain what it was and she couldn't figure it out on her own. I now know better.

nicole said...

you are a rock star adoption mama! i love your ideas and confidence to carry them out. thx for sharing :-)

Eliza2006 said...

I'm so happy for you and your daughter! What a lovely family you make!

China Dreams said...

So glad that things are going the way that they are for you-when such a long held dream turns out to be even better than you imagined it would! Lovely pictures.


Karen said...

Our daughter had doctor issues at 16 months, and healthy. But anyone with a white coat would flip her out when we got I could only imagine, if she had medical needs other than normal shots, etc. I have a feeling that most of the doctors visiting SWIs are swift and fast paced.

I agree, the secret to any family bonding is consistency.

I thought that was a grandparent, you look like her.