Monday, June 6, 2011
The First Truly Annoying Comment
I've fielded adoption-related comments well, I practiced long before motherhood was a reality. You know, the standard ones, where words like real parents, lucky, was it expensive are said. Today I got one that came from a surprising source, someone I thought knew better having had a lot of exposure from me and her own brother, who also adopted a child from Asia. It also wasn't a comment made to me, but to my daughter, and you bet I quickly replied and did some educating.
"You're too big to be held like that."
What? Yep, that's what this woman said to my daughter.
I said, "No, she's not. I'm lucky she likes to be held like this. Even if I'd adopted a 13 year-old, I'd hold her, if she'd allow it...."
We were at church and my daughter was ready to leave, having sat through only about 15 minutes of singing time and the closing prayer, so I picked her up, her legs around my hips and her arms around my neck, dress properly down, and then this comment was made.
Honestly, sometimes I wish I could stand on the rooftops and tell the entire world my daughter's history. All about her birth and relinquishment story, her health history and current condition, and all about how she's suffered and still suffers due to her medical condition, and all about adoption psychology.
I really love church. I do miss attending all the services, but not enough to put my daughter through it before she's ready. She is doing so very well and I know it's because of the choices I've made in caring for her. Each and every day, especially on the weekends, I think hard about what we'll do and I go through a mental list:
Will we do something new to her?
Will we go somewhere new?
Will we be in a crowd?
Will there be a lot of waiting?
What will her meals and snacks be?
What will be her exercise for the day?
Should the exercise be for stamina, strength, or feet therapy?
Should we have a day of staying at home alone, having friends in or going out?
How much fun will she have?
What will I do if she does .....?
How well do I need to prepare her ahead of time?
Ugh, this post is morphing, I need to stop here and break the rest down into a few other posts.