Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Ear Plugs & Other News & 1 Regret

Thank you all for your comments lately, especially after the dentist thing. After reading everything and thinking it over, I have decided to look for a new dental practice. What became the determining thought came from a commenter who really hit the nail on the head and put into words what I need: A TEAM. As I coordinate all of Jie Jie's care, I know see that I am assembling a TEAM and we must all work together, no dictators allowed. I'm glad to be able to say that our local pediatrician is proving to be a great team member and she is going to advocate for us to go to the out-of-state hospital, though it's going to really be up to the local pediatric surgeon. I have spoken with him once and my pediatrician confirmed my thoughts, that the surgeon is very reasonable.

Jie Jie's sleep continues to be disrupted from her norm. I think that most of the trauma is past so I really thank the commenter who mentioned that the anasthesia itself could have thrown things off, too, but most likely she's still just hyper-aware right now. Last night I had Jie Jie wear ear plugs to bed and she did sleep 11 hours. I realize this may sound like a dream to most of you, but my daughter ALWAYS sleeps 11-14 hours a night, so 7-9 hour nights were not enough for her and she's been sporting dark circles under her eyes and has been super sensitive emotionally. She asked for the earplugs again tonight and fell asleep tightly clutching my hand. TIGHTLY!

Jie Jie also wanted to be held all evening long and told me so and said how much she likes when I hold her and that she wanted me to hold her for a long time, which I did. She is becoming more and more aware of how her body is different. She is getting upset by it. We were talking about her birth story last night and she asked if her birth "baba" cried when she was born and he saw her special need. It's important that I not read too much into this, but the way she said it gave me great pause. I have seen instances of children who remember details of their birth, and read books on it as part of my doula studies. I wonder if this was a memory.

After this conversation, more details of her orphanage life came out, including a story of a woman who came to take care of her when her tummy hurt. This woman made some kind of drink from something like a twig. Today we happened to go through some videos trying to find a dancing video when I clicked on one of the visit to the SWI and she recognized this woman. I was thrilled to learn about this woman because I felt such an affinity to her when I met her in China. This woman reminds me of my TuTu (grandmother), who did in 2008. There was just something about her that drew me to her. Now I discover she had some knowledge of natural healing methods and gave comfort to my daughter. The drink worked, according to my daughter.

In other news, Jie Jie read the entire alphabet by herself yesterday for the first time!!! She still can't recite it without seeing the letters and she have been able to sign all the letters when she sees them for some time now. She is a very strong visual learner and a weak auditory learner. I'm hoping that as her grasp of the English language gets stronger, so will her auditory learning skills. She still cannot sing an entire song, not a single one, but we are doing fun poems with hand motions, too, which is a big help.

Last Sunday, she stayed up in Sunday School all by herself while I went downstairs. She joined one of the younger kid classes being taught by a mom who is a friend of ours, and they were coloring, one of her favorite things to do. She was so happy to be coloring a picture of Jesus (JeSu - in Chinese) surrounded by children and she asked if I got to color a picture of JeSu in my class, too! My friend said that Jie Jie did perfectly well up to the end when the class was over and some kids left to find their moms and hadn't made my way up the stairs yet, then Jie Jie said, "Mama," twice with a little worry in her voice. Then I was there and all was well.

Now for my one BIG regret: I regret that I ever taught Jie Jie the word "sorry." She over uses it. She apologizes to me for every little thing, whether it's her fault or not. I am trying to break her of this habit. I ask her, "Did it hurt mama? Then there is no sorry." I also tell her, when applicable, that the correct word to say is, "Oops or Uh oh." At first I thought it was a language thing, but she really is afraid she's done something she needs to apologize for.

A word she is over using lately due to not fully grasping the meaning is "cute." Everything is cute, from writing a number 6 for the first time, to the food on her plate. We're working on it and I'm working on myself not to get annoyed at the repetition, but to see the humor in it.

I've arranged our first big girl playdate for this Friday. Two girls (7 & 9) and their mom will come over for pizza and play time in the spa. Jie Jie is desperate for play time with some girls her age even though she's never had any. She is growing up in some ways and needs positive role models.

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