Monday, October 10, 2011

I Can't Sleep Tonight


I fell more in love with my daughter over the last four days.

I held her when she suffered pain and she clung to me, pitiously crying.

I carried her on my back until I ached.

I stayed up holding her and lying next to her into the wee hours of the night on the night her dental work was done because each time she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, she remembered the "sleepy medicine" and "doctor coming." We talked about being safe in our house, that only mama was here and no doctors, but she was remembering more than just the dentist, I think. We finally got up and watched Yon Yon, her Chinese goat cartoon.

I fed her off my tiniest baby spoon because she couldn't open her mouth for anything larger. I felt like Mother of the Year when I made chicken congee and she tasted it and declared that it was called "Ju Ah" and she gobbled it up. I can't describe the feeling of joy I had that I was able to make one of her comfort foods from China, just like her caregiver made.

She showered me with kisses, gently so her lips didn't hurt, each time I did something that made her happy, like let her swim in the spa, play with her new play doh set, or take a stroll in the carriage after sunset with her doll Bao Bao nestled in beside her.

We stood in line after a violin concert for over an hour, past 10pm, so she could have her picture taken with the virtuoso. It wasn't the music as much as the dress that enthralled her. I thought for sure Jie Jie would tire and give up, but she didn't.

Jenny Oaks Baker, virtuoso violist,
just released a new album featuring Disney music.

I do more than stare at her when she sleeps. I pull the covers up, place my hand on her shoulder, caress her little cheek, stroke her hair, move her into a better position on her pillow...

How I love my child!

1 comment:

Joannah said...

You are such a good momma! I can think of so many times as a child (and as an adult) when my mother's TLC got me through an illness or some other kind of recovery. Sweet memories are being made in your home.