Thursday, November 24, 2011
I am So Very Thankful for My Daughter
I cannot help but reflect upon the process I went through this time last year as I prayed for my daughter's file. I read many of my previous blog entries from this time and I'm amazed at what I wrote, yet can still remember the feelings I had at that time as if it was yesterday. I cannot imagine my life without Jie Jie now any more than I could then, before I had even met her or had locked her file or anything.
I remember the intensity of my faith as I discovered a deeper level of prayer that exposed my truly broken heart to God. I remember the feelings of unworthiness that made me strive harder and harder to be a better person in all ways, and that this made me worthy to be this child's mother. I still carry the responsibility to God to raise my daughter well and to love her and do all I can as perfectly as I can, even when I make mistakes - especially when I make mistakes!
I hope I never lose the memory of what I went through and how I feel now. I want to wake up each day and look into Jie Jie's eyes and remember it all.