Sunday, February 19, 2012

Reactions: Young vs. Teen Adoptions


I want to thank all my readers/commenters and my dad for their VERY supportive responses to my pending adoption of Sissy. It was very hard to keep it off the blog until now, but I needed to have CCCWA pre-approval for my own peace of mind first. It's been exciting to read your comments and receive your well-wishes. Those of you in the online adoption community who have blogged your journeys have been an inspiration to me and a valuable resource. It made it very easy to go ahead with what my heart has been telling me for the past two years.

While no one has overtly come right out and said anything negative, it's glaringly apparent how many people that I know feel about teen adoption. Their words of congratulations end with warning tones in their voices. It's far different than how it was with Jie Jie. Also, admittedly, Jie Jie's pictures showed a SUPER CUTE little girl. I loved how everyone, especially grown men, did a double-take when they saw the pictures for the first time. Funny, this time no one has even asked to see pictures once they know Sissy is 13. And, when I do show them, though cute, darling even, Sissy doesn't have that "cuteness" that makes you go, "awww." People who see the video seem very taken aback because she looks so happy. I think they expect Sissy to look like a ragamuffin, with a long, whistful face, pining away for a mother.

In Sissy's video, she's introducing herself by name, then reciting some kind of song/poem about how solidarity is best and makes China strong. Then she does a little exercise routine to music. About five seconds into the video she smiles. That smile got me the very first time I saw it. I saw a pretty girl, innocent, happy, fun and more, but it's her smile that I loved so much. I am looking forward to getting to know her, falling in love with her, finding out what makes her tick, what makes her happy, sad, excited and more. I want to know her favorite color, is she a morning person or a night owl. Will she like Mexican food? I've got a real fear about her education. Will I be able to spark her interest in learning? Will she strive to reach her potential? I've been researching this a lot and it looks like homeschool is the best, which I planned to do for the first few months, but I was also open to public school after that and now I'm less open to it.

Surprisingly, I don't have any fear around Jie Jie and Sissy developing a good relationship. Jie Jie is a very reasonable child with a very even temperment. If she feels needy or jealous, she will be easy to satisfy. Sissy will know that she is coming into a family that has a sister already. Since she's never had one on one, and her SWI is huge, a family of three is going to feel very intimate and I hope she'll feel very special.

3 comments:

FromDelaware said...

I've been following your blog as we have a close LID. I congratulate you on how you have followed your plan to build your family. Sissy is a beautiful young girl with a beautiful smile.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who adopted 5 children. Three of them were "older" kids. She homeschools all five. They are the happiest, the kindest, and get along so well. If you google "LaJoy family" you can read their blog. This lady is very wise, and an inspiration to many.
Fran

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your new daughter! She's beautiful, and the fact that she wants to be adopted and live in a family says so much about her! I'm sure she will learn quickly from Jie Jie just how much fun and secure a family can be!
Susan