Monday, June 4, 2012
The Secret Grief
It hits when I least expect it to, but it can really hit hard. Sunday I took Jie Jie to a fair at a local gymnastics place that's non-profit and does a lot of community out-reach and got to see so many talented children with mega-perfect bodies doing what I love - gymnastics. One child of a friend was there, on the competitive team, the same age as Jie Jie. She was adopted from China as a toddler. She is VERY talented, a powerhouse with grace.
I asked Jie Jie is she wanted to learn how to do gymnastics and she said no. I think it was too overwhelming with all the people there and the noise and the music. It really was a huge fair. I ended up signing her up for a trampoline class that starts at the end of July. I think she's going to love it once she understands that it's not normally so noisy and crowded and busy. We will probably miss the first class as we'll be in China.
Suddenly, as I looked around me and then at my little girl, I was struck with grief that she doesn't have the option of getting to learn that level of gymnastics. She'd have loved it and been so good at it, but she can't even point her toes. I started crying then and there and Jie Jie noticed. I just scooped her up into my arms and told her how much I love her and held her tight until I got a grip on myself. There is so much that she just can't do, yet so much that she can that I'm grateful for.
I hope that she ends up really liking her trampoline class and makes a few friends, gains confidence in her abilities and sees that there is so much her body CAN do that is wonderful. Eventually, I'd like for her to take the level 1 gymnastics class, too. It would be excellent physical therapy and the coaches at this place are very skilled, not your average coaches, so Jie Jie would be safe. I also hope that Sissy will be inspired to try something, too, perhaps also trampoline, since we've got one. But, if nothing else, it will be nice to have an hour a week to have with Sissy alone while Jie Jie is in class, even if it's just sitting across the gym together or walking around the block.