Wednesday, July 18, 2012

What's Sissy Like

Would you be shocked if I said she's a brat? Right now, she is, a lot of the time. But, I have a strong feeling it's mostly due to the circumstances. I also see evidence of what her file says about her academic performance in that she can't see the next step by herself. She doesn't have a drive to figure out how to help herself, she'd rather give me a plaintive, "Mama," and point to something rather than take care of it herself.

Sissy also interupts Jie Jie's treatments, even if it's just having medicine. I have a strong feeling that my little teen has been rather spoiled.

She came with sandals that are for decoration only and her feet are sore. I took her to buy shoes and she was unbearable. I nearly gave up but needed to prove to her that I could find the right pair of shoes no matter what she did. First, she wouldn't try on shoes when the laces weren't all the way perfectly done up, like they often are on the shelf with the first, middle and last lace done up only. You'd have thought I was aksing her to remove a leg, so I lace and laced and laced. Then, I tried getting her to look at styles and colors, but if it wasn't her exact size, she wouldn't look and carried on about it. She threw her shoes in the store, luckily, just to the floor. I tried finding sandals first, but she's got super narrow feet and we need something she can really walk in while we're here. I finally found something at about the fourth or fifth store we tried.

She's moaner and a whiner right now, too. And, in true teen fashion, questions whatever I say. After she knows she's pushed the limit, she apologizes for the next half hour, over and over again, "Mama, due bu qi." After finally getting good shoes and some dinner, she started acting better.

She is missing her caretaker a LOT right now. She's asked to qq her and gets so excited when the phone rings. We visit the orphanage tomorrow and that will make her feel better, I'm sure.

Sissy's love language is touch. She always needs contact. She lays her head on my shoulder, leans on me, holds my hand, loves kisses and hugs. She loves wearing matching clothes with Jie Jie and tries to please me and be helpful when she knows she's gone too far, which tells me she's going to be fine because she can eventually see what she should be doing that is correct.

She likes to sing and knows many popular songs played in the shops. She's tiny, but has a cute figure and wears her clothes well. She is learning not to stick her head out like a chicken on the chopping block and to close her mouth and not slouch. My guide actually made the first corrections in this area as I was prepared to wait until arriving home to begin helping her correct her posture, but I'm glad he did.

I'm looking forward to getting to know my new daughter and for her to get to know me. She's a well-behaved young lady under this bundle of nerves.


C said...

I'm so thankful for your transparency; it helps us who are following your journey to know how to pray for you and your daughters. And it helps those who will be going on a similar journey in the future to know what they may expect and how to love their children through the “thorn-bush days”.

I have a couple of questions. How do you communicate verbally with Sissy? Do you speak Mandarin? Does JieJie still speak Mandarin? Is your guide interpreting….if so, is that 24/7?

I’m wondering about the language transition process with adopting older children.

I'm praying for you and your daughters....isn't it great to be able to say daugterS.

kimjax said...

These poor kids are so traumatized by the transition that you can't see their true personality until you get home. (as you know) It will be interesting to see how she changes once she has the security of "home." Hang in there - it can be rough on Mom - but sounds like you're doing a great job being patient.