Friday, August 3, 2012

Grieving


Sissy did some hard grieving last night. Right after I tucked her in, she called to me before I reached the bedroom door, "QQ?" She really wants to QQ her beloved caregiver and I'm making her wait for one month and she knows this and I told her not to ask me any more. I got tired of hearing it 1000 times a day. Part of me is torn about this decision because it's something she really wants, but I know it's the right thing to do in order for our attachment process.

Jie Jie came to me about ten minutes later saying that Sissy was really crying hard in her bed. I brought Sissy downstairs with me and we had a computer-translated conversation. Her fear is that Teacher will worry about her, forget about her, etc... And that she will forget Teacher. I told her that Teacher can email me at any time or even read my blog. This is also hard for her to understand since she doesn't know why Teacher hasn't emailed me about HER? It would be so easy to tell her that, even though Teacher does love her, Teacher is just doing her job and getting paid for it. I wasn't about to be that cruel, but Sissy really has no clue as to the structure of her former life. She has no interest or understanding of what a birth mother is, but seems to know that woman carry babies inside before they are born. I'm not going to teach her anything about this right now since she's got enough to deal with, but I can see how fast all this new information is going to snowball into understanding and then require a serious process to go through to deal with it all.

We had dinner at the home of a local FCC family who brought home 12.5 yr. old last March. It was interesting for me to watch the dynamic between their three daughters and compare it to my own.

Sissy is right on par for everything we are going through. Things are going much better than I thought they would in China and I'm so thankful for that.

2 comments:

Princess D said...

Yes, it must be very hard to only know that life and then come home to a real family, but not yet understanding exactly what that is yet.
I will keep Sissy in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Praise God!