Friday, September 28, 2012

Duped


This is a very difficult post to write. I'm so thankful for my unshakable faith in our Saviour, Jesus Christ, who set me on the path to adoption over 6 years ago. Otherwise, I'd be devastated beyond reason.

China made a grave error, most likely on purpose. I just found out last Tuesday that when I adopted Jie Jie 18 months ago, CCCWA used my original dossier for her adoption instead of a copy of it along with the supplemental "mini dossier." I have not had a dossier in the non-special needs for 18 months, like I was supposed to have had.

My agency learned about this a few months ago and thought they'd resolved it with China, but China rescinded, despite the fact that I've paid THREE Beijing fees for THREE adoptions, and I've only adopted two children in China.

I was in shock, and might still be, but a feeling of deep peace came over me after I did what I could to set another plan into action after a totally sleepless night on Tuesday night when the plan came to me after deep, sincere, heartbroken prayer.

I have only one gripe with my agency about this and that is that they didn't tell me when the problem first came to light. They said that things like this happen all the time and they usually resolve it and no one ever knows, and I completely understand this, but I wish I could have known only so that I could have prayed and asked our Lord's help when it was crucial.

I can hear the echo of your thoughts, dear readers. I'm sure some of you are saying, "Well, you got Blossom, didn't you?" That's your third child.

What no one knows is that while preparing for Blossom and asking myself the same question, is this my third and final daughter?, I had the strongest feeling that my dream of having four children was being fulfilled. As I moved furniture to prepare for Blossom, I imagined how I'd reset everything for Apple. Having Blossom has brought out the best in me, in Sissy, and put Jie Jie in a position to grow in ways she really needs to. I can easily imagine the joy another little one will add to my family and my heart.

My dad said it quite clearly. This is like having a miscarriage.

I am going to continue to countdown the months until I know exactly what is going on. Please pray for me and for one more little child somewhere who I hope to bring home one day and call my own. Is it a coincidence that I've now introduced a third soul to the Gospel of Jesus Christ only to be met with such adversity? Satan will do anything to prevent us from bringing God's children unto Him and using a godless communist machine to do it probably wasn't very difficult. I hope and pray that within CCCWA is an ethical person with love in their heart for the children of China who need parents, who is willing to put this matter to rights.

13 comments:

Mama Jama said...

Oh no, this is really not fair! I hope that this gets resolved and that you do welcome a fourth daughter in the future!

Best wishes!

kimjax said...

I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

this is not the last word on adoption for you and your family - i know in my heart that you will find peace and that Apple will be yours

Anonymous said...

K- I was so sorry to hear this on Tuesday. I really hope that this gets resolved and you are able to add to your family.

Sherri said...

I really cannot imagine how sad you must be...this is ALREADY an emotional time for you and what a blow. BUT GOD! We shall never underestimate him..no, indeed! He is asking you to take one step at a time, just as you have been all along and HE will do the miracles needed to bring your child home to you, according to HIS perfect will. ((HUGS)))

Danielle and Ryan said...

I am so sorry for this. It is true it is the same as having a miscarriage. You already love a little baby and she was taken away. God does work in misteries ways and you would of never thought that blossom would find a way to your home and she did. Keep praying and your prayers will be answered when the time is right. I totally beleive it is all about timing. Best of Luck

Anonymous said...

I am really sorry. Can they follow the cash, so to speak? If you have paid 3 times, and adopted twice, then that should be obvious. You are the only person I know that was told that they could keep their place in the non-special needs line and adopt a SN child in the interim. Obviously, I don't know of all the cases, and I don't follow every rule change with CCAA. We had a LID of 4/06 and found a child on the SN list in 2009, but did not try to hold our place in the NSN line. Our agency did not present keeping our LID for another child as an option, and of the 9 SN families in our group, probably 6 of us had switched from NSN (no one had the option to keep our dossier in China). But, hopefully, your agency has good documentation, and the cash trail should be obvious in your case.

Joannah said...

My gosh! What a heartbreaking revelation. I've got to believe that it can be rectified somehow. Keep believing!!!

Anonymous said...

While this is a very surprising development I have been following your journey long enough to see that she is going to be coming home to you soon. I believe completely that you will be successful in fulfilling your mission to bring the light of Christ to one more child. I was surprised when you said you paid fees for Blossom, though. It seems to me the travel family should have paid those fees since you were rescuing them from a situation that didn't end up working out.

Anonymous said...

Continue to pursue it, this is important to you and it will be of import to the agency as well. You've helped them (with Blossom), they can help you.

K said...

I did NOT pay fees for Blossom. I paid the fees for my first dossier back in 2007, fees for the "mini dossier" that's required when using a copy of the dossier, which was what was supposed to have been used for Jie Jie's adoption, and I paid fees for Sissy's adoption.

Just the 6 of us! said...

Apple is coming home soon. Every time your faith is tested it seems to work out as a miracle soon after.

Catherine said...

My stomach is in knots reading this. I'm so sorry. Praying that this will be corrected.

((hugs))