Friday, September 28, 2012
This is a very difficult post to write. I'm so thankful for my unshakable faith in our Saviour, Jesus Christ, who set me on the path to adoption over 6 years ago. Otherwise, I'd be devastated beyond reason.
China made a grave error, most likely on purpose. I just found out last Tuesday that when I adopted Jie Jie 18 months ago, CCCWA used my original dossier for her adoption instead of a copy of it along with the supplemental "mini dossier." I have not had a dossier in the non-special needs for 18 months, like I was supposed to have had.
My agency learned about this a few months ago and thought they'd resolved it with China, but China rescinded, despite the fact that I've paid THREE Beijing fees for THREE adoptions, and I've only adopted two children in China.
I was in shock, and might still be, but a feeling of deep peace came over me after I did what I could to set another plan into action after a totally sleepless night on Tuesday night when the plan came to me after deep, sincere, heartbroken prayer.
I have only one gripe with my agency about this and that is that they didn't tell me when the problem first came to light. They said that things like this happen all the time and they usually resolve it and no one ever knows, and I completely understand this, but I wish I could have known only so that I could have prayed and asked our Lord's help when it was crucial.
I can hear the echo of your thoughts, dear readers. I'm sure some of you are saying, "Well, you got Blossom, didn't you?" That's your third child.
What no one knows is that while preparing for Blossom and asking myself the same question, is this my third and final daughter?, I had the strongest feeling that my dream of having four children was being fulfilled. As I moved furniture to prepare for Blossom, I imagined how I'd reset everything for Apple. Having Blossom has brought out the best in me, in Sissy, and put Jie Jie in a position to grow in ways she really needs to. I can easily imagine the joy another little one will add to my family and my heart.
My dad said it quite clearly. This is like having a miscarriage.
I am going to continue to countdown the months until I know exactly what is going on. Please pray for me and for one more little child somewhere who I hope to bring home one day and call my own. Is it a coincidence that I've now introduced a third soul to the Gospel of Jesus Christ only to be met with such adversity? Satan will do anything to prevent us from bringing God's children unto Him and using a godless communist machine to do it probably wasn't very difficult. I hope and pray that within CCCWA is an ethical person with love in their heart for the children of China who need parents, who is willing to put this matter to rights.