Sunday, December 23, 2012

More Sisterly Love

I have another gem. As we've shopped, Blossom has found pennies here and there and picked them up. Tonight, she handed me her entire life savings, 13 cents, and said, "Mama, to help you for Jie Jie and Mei Mei," meaning, to help me get Christmas presents from her for her sisters.

This little girl is simply astounding! Now that she is free of her sister's garbage, she is soaring. Honestly, when I gave her a kiss this morning, she puckered right up so I gave her another one and she said, "No mama, I kiss you!" So I bent down and she gave me a kiss. She tells me often how much she likes me. I'm not sure if she truly loves me yet, but if she doesn't already, she's going to realize it any moment now.

Blossom is the sister I'd hoped for Jie Jie. I hope their relationship continues to grow and deepen and that they can be close all their lives. They are having a lot of fun. Sissy is not excluded, but I do restrict her contact with her sisters for their own good and to fascilitate her bonding with me.

Sissy is trying! I hope that she, too, will be a good sister to Jie Jie and Blossom. She seems to be reviving. She's been flat and dull (like she was in China) and it occurred to me that her planning, plotting, stealing and control must have given her quite an andrenaline rush or at least a thrill. Yesterday she saw a rainbow for the very first time in her entire life and it was about as beautiful a rainbow as can be. She was so excited and animated. It was a complete semi-circle, thick and dark, with a second, lighter rainbow for a twin. I stopped the car so we could all take a good look. Again, I talked to Sissy about how she was feeling as she looked at the rainbow. I said something like, "Isn't that amazing? You look like you feel so amazed and happy right now." I then explained that she can remember the rainbow forever and remember how she felt when she saw it. I'm getting into a good pattern now with this. At first, it seemed to tedious, but not now. I'm also starting to get into the pattern of making more eye contact. I did this with all the girls at the beginning and the other two naturally got it very fast. Now I'm going back to this with Sissy, but with deeper intent. I wasn't ready last week because I was so angry at her over what she'd done to Blossom and how she held out admitting that she flushed the toothpaste, too, even when I'd asked her about it several times, that I just didn't want to look her in the eye. I think this period of anger was good for all of us. I needed some space from her. We all did. And she needed to know that what she did was terrible. I was also able to see other was she had been passively agressively controlling me and how it affected all of us. Now, we're all starting to heal.


Almond Tea said...

Anger, normally feared, is also an emotion, and a how you dealt with your anger towards Sissy is great modeling for Sissy. She either doesn't know how to identify it in herself or wasn't allowed to express it.

Even though it was a long week, I'm sure, you handled it well so maybe next time she is angry she can express it in a healthy away as opposed to taking it out on Blossom. Good work, K!

Eliza2006 said...

You are wonderful! I have years iny eyes reading this post. What sweet girls you have. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!