Saturday, January 12, 2013
On occasion, people have winked at my girls and they've been fascinated by what that meant. I've done it myself to them, when I catch their eye, and still they wonder what it means. So, I told them it's another way to say hi or I love you. Today, we met with our attachment specialist again and Blossom popped out of the kids' room to check in with me and on her way back in, she winked at med! It was so cute because she can't quite get it so it took her a few tries. She also flashed a super cute grin because she was so happy to be flirting with her mama.
This up-coming week is huge for my little family. We will meet with the social worker for the girls' six months post-placement visits and she will decide whether or not she thinks it's a good time to proceed with Apple's adoption. One of the things they wanted was to speak with the attachment specialist. I was opposed to this, wanting one place in my mothering life that was off-limits to the prying adoption process, but I don't get that luxury. I, too, though, wanted to know what the attachment specialist thought about it in relation to the impact it would have on my girls, Sissy in particular.
To my utmost happiness, she said, "Your family is doing very well! Now is the perfect time! Assembling your entire family now and growing as a unit is best. It would be very beneficial for your older girls to watch you meet the needs of your baby as a baby's needs should be met by a mother and it will bring up questions and issues of their own, such as, I wish someone did that for me when I was a baby."
It felt so good to have a professional whose opinion I respect agree with my thoughts and feelings as to what is best for my family.
This week's other highlights include the fact that we now have a higher ratio of good days vs. hard days, meaning no one has an issue, meltdown, crying, defiance/disobedience over something important like school work, etc...
Jie Jie is facing some realities of her own. She let me know with sad tears that she doesn't like being the only member of our family that doesn't have a healthy body. I was able to talk to her about the future of medical research and nerve regeneration work occurring right now and how it shapes some of the decisions I make for her care in order to preserve certain things because this technology can realistically be developed during her lifetime. I was also able to tell her that shao mei mei, as we call Apple, will also have something different about her body and that Sissy may seem to have a healthy body, but that the part of her where her feelings are isn't healthy. I was also able to tell her that it's good that she can have surgery to help her body. She's been worried a lot about surgery even though, or especially because, she's had two or three already in China. As we talked about it helping her, she seemed to feel more positive about it.
There are some families facing some serious things right now and who need your prayers, Baby Ivy is headed into open heart surgery again tomorrow, her 5th, I believe, in under a year. Adeye is heading to Bulgaria to bring home Hasya, who has lived 15 years in a crib, along with her new son, who has lived in an orphanage from a nightmare, a friend who left for China today to bring home her new daughter, and I am trying to get onto a new type of insurance program, still with Kaiser because the surgeon we need is in Kaiser LA, unless he thinks we need to go to Cincinatti. I'm praying for all of you, too, because we each have a very special load, our children who came to us through adoption, which makes them all children with a very special need, and that need is to feel loved and wanted and special even though their most primal bond was broken.