Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Still Waiting Patiently

I'm still waiting for LSC to arrive. It's still within the time frame it should take, but I do expect it to come by the end of this week or early next week, if it follows the same schedule that Jie Jie's adoption did.

It's sure a lot easier to wait with three children already home. First, they are such wonderful girls, they fill my heart. Second, after going through this process already, I know that it works and there's a child at the end of it. The path hasn't been smooth, however, so some of the anticipation was more frought with worry instead of joy recently. But, I had over four YEARS of eager, patient, fun (super fun!) planning, shopping, and dreaming if only Apple before I knew about Jie Jie.

One of the biggest, most important things I learned along the way, is that the love I felt for each child before they came was very different than the love I felt when I met them and "fell" in love with them for who they are. The other love was very powerful, but missed the most important element of all, the actual child. Now I know that the first love is excitement, wonderment, my own dream, and preparation for actually falling in love with them once they are in my arms and I get to know them. Really get to know them. Jie Jie wasn't at all like I imagined she'd be. Her picture made me think of a shy, demure girl and that's not her at all. She was a dynamo of personality from the very beginning.

Today I sit and wonder what Apple will be like. I'm completely open, without expectation, ready to bring her into my little family, wondering what her personality is like and preparing myself to change in the most positive ways to be the best mother to her that I can be.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Interesting to hear the Jie Jie is not shy because that is how I imagined her :)

Love how you call your family little, 4 kids seems big to me. Oh how I wish I had a big family.

Can't wait to hear more about Apple. Congratulations! She is a cutie