Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Regression is Normal


Dear Anonymous,

Regression during a time of moving, a new sibling's arrival or any other major life-changing event is perfectly normal for ALL children, but especially adopted children.

I've always been open and honest on my blog. The reason I've chosen to be open on this matter is because it's a very common issue. I'm not the first family to move or to provide my children with siblings and I'm not the first to do both very close together. Of all the people on this earth, I love my children the most and have their best interest at heart. I know my children best and know what is best for them and for my family. Also realize, that before any adoption is approved by an agency, a social worker must do a homestudy and give approval, too. So, not only do I have the knowledge that my decisions are in the best interest of my children and family over all, but I have the official stamp of approval of a licensed social worker (who is an advocate for the children), a licensed family counsellor, a great adoption agency, and the approval of CCCWA. That's a whole lot of support!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some times parents make mistakes. Maybe it is too much for them.

Anonymous said...

No, it's not, Anonymous. Sometimes parents have to push their children, so they can address issues that are lying underneath the surface. K is doing an amazing job. Her girls came to her with some really big issues, and the fact she is identifying them, helping them work through them and getting the girls to ID their own feelings is great parenting work.

K- I know I speak for a lot of AP's of older kids, that we appreciate your honesty and candor. We need to be MORE open about the struggles so we know what is "normal" for these atypical kids.

K said...

Dear Anonymous #1,

I understand your concerns about all of our recent events being too much for the kids and, yes, parents do sometimes make mistakes. You have a very valid point. That is why my adoption agency and social worker, along with the other experienced parents and professionals I consulted, wholly supported me only after very careful evaluation, and, frankly, they were dazzled by how well my kids are doing. Most of all, though, I know my kids and situation best and always make my decisions with common sense, intelligence, and diligent prayer.

I appreciate your concern and input when it's done respectfully and non-profanely.

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymous above! Sometimes parents make mistakes many many mistakes and give out to much personal experiences, sometime sooner or later children will read parents blogs and see that the whole wide world knows all they been through the sad thing is no privacy or consideration for the child's feelings guess they have no choice if mom and dad tell the world what going on with life ...IMHO! I AM ANONYMOUS because I don't blog and have user name English is 2nd language! And K is superior mama! It is true parents make mistakes and maybe it is too much for them!! Sincerely,Oksana Yusupova Russian mama

Just the 6 of us! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
K said...

Dear Just the 6 of Us,

I appreciate you defendding and supporting me and thank you for it a lot, but please, even though I can see how angry you got on my behalf, don't resort to using names like Bad Seed and "no one wants you here," because I'm trying to keep a better feeling on my blog even when others cannot. I want to be gracious and give the commenter a chance to understand adoption issues better. Unless, of course, you know something about this anonymous commentor that I should know. I know there are one or two bad people who stalk adoption blogs and leave horrible comments regularly. I don't mind having to delete a few mean comments now and then, but I truly enjoy the positive comments from you and other readers and I love following commentor's names to their own blogs. The internet adoption community has been such a valuable resource for me and other families, even if we sometimes have to deal with such negative, mean comments.

Sterner Stitches said...

K,

I have read your entire blog and love following your family with all of your amazing progress end even your small set backs. You are an amazing Mama. Truely a Super Mom! Your family is amazing and as a person who intends to adopt an older child from china in the future I really appreciate your openness and honesty. You know what is very best for your children and have already shown you are willing to fight for them. Good for you and good for your girls!

-Jen-

Just the 6 of us! said...

K,
Thank you for your kind and loving reply. I am "protective" of adoptive mama's who share honestly online only to have lurkers say mean and unnecessary comments. I would assume most people know adoption is hard on both the parent(s) and child(ren). I appreciate it when you are willing to post the up's and down's of adoption. I will
try to be more like you and look for the good in these people. It can be a teaching moment for everyone. That said, I do have a very low tolerance for people who would say hurtful things to someone they don't know. They have never met you and most likely never will. Why wouldn't they give you the benefit of the doubt? I have observed from your reading your blog for many years that you are acutely aware of your children's needs. You are someone who I admire. I appreciate your problem solving skills. I admire your strength in the helping your girls deal with trials in a healthy way. They have a beautiful life ahead of them now. It's not perfect but you have given them the gift of limitless potential. If only "anon" would look only for the good in you (like Pollyanna!) they would see that you deserve Mother of the Year award ten times over! You work hard to make your family work. God bless you.

Chrissy said...

Oh Kimi, I haven't been on here for a couple weeks and missed the negative comments. As always, I am proud of you for handling it all with such grace and wisdom. Hugs to you and all the girls!

Vicki said...

Kimi! You have the support and love of so many! I know that your honesty on your blog has helped so many. You are doing a great job with your daughters!
Vicki

Anonymous said...

But when is to my much information enough? I think some blogs. Are TMI - LIKE THE ONE K POSTED ABOUT BLOSSOMS YELLOW UNDERWEAR Blossom was just home from China and didn't know how to use toilet paper, She was used to having YELLOW PANTIES, THAT'S WHAT K SAID...SEE THAT'S TMI HOW BOUT WHAT BLOSSOM FEELING? OH POOR GIRL. THATS WHAT I MEANT
SINCERELY, OKSANA Y RUSSIAN MAMA I have English 2nd language

Anonymous said...

I remember reading that post when the toothpaste was going down toilet around then.Blossom don't read the blog I hope!

Anonymous said...

Russian mom&anonymous, Kimmie knows what's best for her beautiful girls!!!Thank you! K you are an AWESOME MAMA!!!! Love you,and the beautiful girls! Don't worry about other people its just an opinion!
Miriam S +My China Beauties