Last night, just before finally going to sleep in the PICU, I had a low moment, the one every mom gets during times like these. My baby's fever was getting worse, she's looking more and more bruised and is getting black eyes. Her body is so swollen she looks positively chubby to me and weighs more. The floor is so hard here, my feet and shins are hurting. I'm constantly cold because we aren't heating the room because of the baby's temperature. I finally slept for four hours, but that meant missing midnight vital sign check. At 4am I awakened, shivering, to find out that at midnight, my baby's fever had spiked to 103 and that's with therapeutic amounts of Tylenol in her system. However, by 4am, it was back down to 101.
The nurse brought me three heated blankets. Now I'm sleeping with 7 blankets! Tonight I'll add two more and hope to finally achieve a warm night's sleep.
Apple didn't settle after 4am, so I eventually decided that we'd both had enough of this crib business and I made a nest that could accommodate her need to keep her head elevated and we slept another few hours together, though it was broken for me by all the people coming in and out. It's very noisy here, people constantly talking and laughing right outside the glass door at all hours, plus the sounds of the machines on the heavy-duty case in the next room.
I also figured out how to nurse Apple, no small task with huge distractor screws sticking out and a very sore head all the way around. I finally managed to get a pillow into just the right wedge shape.
My older girls are in good spirits. It's been very hard being away from them, but as M gets to know them and they her, I feel more and more okay about it. M is officially adopted into the family in our hearts. Sissy declared today that M is like my daughter now. I felt that way the moment I ever first laid eyes on her so it's nice that my girls feel the same way, too. They each held Apple, but have to be carefully watched, though, as they forget her pain and start bouncing her.
Apple is a smart girl and was showing great displeasure at being messed with constantly. We have the same good male nurse today as we had yesterday so she felt freer pushing his hand away even though what he was going wasn't painful. After she got some toys to play with, she didn't mind him so much.
I cleaned and redressed her wounds today. They aren't seeping much at all any more. We should be released tomorrow afternoon!
Blossom didn't want a turn at first, but changed her mind.
The distractor pins are pretty scary-looking.