Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Our Day by Noon

I woke up before the alarm and turned it off. Started crying because I have to get through another entire day. Pulled myself together and decided one hour of school wasn't worth getting the girls to this morning. I tried sleeping again, but just laid there wide awake.

I prepared breakfast without putting on my glasses and I began to smell cat poop. Then I realized I'd stepped in it and walked on the aggregate floor. Aggregate floor in my house means pebbles mixed in epoxy and spread across the floor. Everything that falls to the floor, falls between the pebbles and gets between and underneath them. The pebbles are also multicolored so everything that falls onto the floor disappears by camouflage.

I told the girls to stay away from the area while I got the cleaning machine. I told them they cannot get their milk yet because this was by the fridge. By the time I found the machine and brought it in, the girls had finished with their cereal and were putting their dishes in the sink, walking all over the cat poop and the area rugs. I yelled, "What are you doing! I said to stay away from here."

Sissy, 15, said she thought I meant the rugs. I asked if I said rugs. She said no. I asked what I did say, she said, stay away.

I call Apple's OT and tell her we are running very late. As we pull into the parking lot, it's raining and there are puddles, I say to the girls, "Leave the diaper bag in the car. Get out on this side," I indicated the driver's side, "Sissy, get out on your side but be careful of the water."

I open the door to get the baby out and Blossom, 13, is reaching for the diaper bag. I asked what she's doing. She had no clue that she shouldn't be getting the diaper bag. Sissy is trying to get from the middle to the back of the van so she can get out on the driver's side. I asked what she's doing, she said trying to get out. I asked them to repeat what I said. Jie Jie repeated it fine, a miracle for her. Blossom only heard to get out on the driver's side, as did Sissy.

We get home. There is no rug by the back door. I say, "Blossom, where is the black rug that I told you to put by the back door the other day."

Her reply, "What are you talking about?"

"I told you to take the black rug and put it by the back door."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"I gave you the black rug the other day and told you to put it by the back door. Where did you put it."

"You didn't tell me that."

"Yes I did. Where is the rug?" By now, of course, I'm yelling again.

She looks clueless then says, "Maybe it's over there," indicating a rolled up rug near the extra stove.

I say, "That isn't a maybe. There it is. Why did you put it there?"

"I didn't hear you say put it by the back door."

"Yes you did because when I gave you those instructions the other day you said you didn't understand so I showed you the rug by the front door and told you to put the black rug the same way by the back door."

And this is a typical day.


doreen said...

so sorry you had "one of those days"! i used to think that my daughter (adopted at 10, now almost 13) was the only who thought/acted this way. it's really baffling. she's smart, but so lacking in some areas. personally, i think it has something to do with how she was treated in china . . . always being told what to do, no opportunity for personal opinions, choices or preferences. of course, it could just be the language barrier. you are doing a fabulous job rearing your brood! hang in there!

Lynnea said...

I don't know about you but somedays I long for the "good old days" Remember those???
But keep plugging ahead!
I laughed though reading about the van exiting confusion...oh my!
I'm sure you thought of this and use this but for my boys (cuz ya know boys are boys! ;) I make them repeat what I want them to do.
Seems to help...sometimes. Not always.
Big hug. But not on the hurt shoulder. Please put it in a least part of the day!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I feel your pain! I live the scenario you related every day too! Ugh! My two with Down Syndrome are 13, but they listen like they're two - unless there's food involved. And then they hear and follow every. single. word. Very frustrating. Not sure it's all low capability. I can tell that part of it is that if they don't see immediate personal benefit for themselves they don't really care about it. Even if they know they'll get into trouble for not listening. I wonder if they were punished so much in their institutions that it just doesn't phase them. You are doing a great job and don't get too discouraged. Just keep in mind that you can't easily or quickly undo all the damage institutional life caused for them. I'm learning (with great resistance!) to lower my expectations. Know you have many who commiserate with you!

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. What are you going to do when you go back to work? It sounds like life is pretty hectic already.

K said...

Work will help! A nice routine. Toddlers, just at some of the stages my girls are in. My girls can observe the toddlers, as they did in our old home, as learn from them, as well as continue progressing on the higher levels they sometimes exhibit. I will also have an assistant again, which will be very nice.

Anonymous said...

My children are all teens and they still don't seem to hear a word I say. It can be frustrating, and it never ends.

Anonymous said...

Oh no better bring out your Super Mama cape! LOL ...
What happened to your Super Mama cape? Must be packed up in the boxes?You know from moving or maybe you left it at the old house? JUST LOL ABOUT THINGS SOMETIMES PEOPLE!!!!!

K IS SUPER MOM said...

Wow. What a kind comment "anon."
Just because you are "anon" doesn't mean karma doesn't know exactly who YOU ARE. K is a fabulous Mom. SHE IS SUPER MOM. If you had any experience as a GOOD MOM you would know how hard it is. Every day is a new challenge. Parenthood is hard enough without trolls judging from their computer screens. K has four beautiful, thriving young women. She is my hero. It takes a lot to get that status. She's earned it.

Anonymous said...

My name is Oksana and I posted about Super Mom cape I don't believe in karma I believe in God. The comment made some upset I just thought it would lighten the mood! I know K is great mother I have mentioned it to her! Guess my sense of humor isn't for everyone.I a mother as well I am mom to children adopted from Russia and soon to be from China so I do know how difficult parenthood is.I apologize to Ms.K the writer of this blog sorry if my comment was rude I think your a fabulous mother! Please excuse any grammar errors ad English is not my 1st language I know that would be the next attack! Ms.K keep being the Super Mom you are with or without the cape! Sincerely, Oksana N.

Anonymous said...

I meant that I don't practice Hinduism or any Indian religion that believes in Karma above