Sunday, October 5, 2014

Getting Real

So many families adopted older girls like I did around the same time I did and I've noticed a trend as I follow their blogs. Now that a couple years or more have gone by, our children have reached a plateau and we can pretty much see how future progress is going to go, at least for the upcoming year. Some families have children with such extreme behaviors and needs that the child has had to live outside the home in treatment facilities of various kinds. Others who started out homeschooling are now public schooling and vice versa. For others, things have gone more smoothly. We have done quite well, but have not been without issues. One of the biggest issues that kids coming out of the orphanages have is in the area of self care. I'm noticing a lot more short haircuts lately and today one of my girls joined the ranks.

It's been a constant struggle for Blossom to learn to fix her hair in a neat and tidy manner. The picture below is actually showing her about 30 minutes after fixing herself up. Whatever she does, it never lasts, even if it starts out relatively okay. Lately, despite me telling her not to do it, her attempts at neatness means slicking her hair down with copious amounts of water until she looks like something out of a 50s pomade commercial. Another issue is about growing out the bangs. She kept putting the barrette near the top of her head. At nearly 14 years old, she just cannot go out in public looking this and not expect stares. One of the goals I have for my girls is to be able to fit into age appropriate society to a degree. This means presenting oneself age appropriately. Even My Firefighter asked me what was up with her weird hair lately and he's a guy!

Last night, I gave Blossom until Tuesday to go without three warnings by me to keep herself neat and tidy. When I got up this morning and saw that she'd slicked it down with a gallon of water AGAIN, she lost the privilege of trying until Tuesday and I cut her hair into a style that is cute and flattering and totally manageable for her. Yes, she cried at first and thought it was a punishment, but the result proved to her otherwise!

Her hair was long enough that we can donate it to Locks of Love. But the most important thing is this: Blossom has looked cute, neat and tidy ALL DAY LONG with this new hair cut! She looks more her age and we will now have less tension between us since I won't be sending her to the bathroom six times a day to tidy up. No braids, no ponytails, no barrettes, just comb out the tangles and be done. Can you hear my sigh of relief? We are streamlining! Eliminating stress where stress can be eliminated.


Lynnea Hameloth said...

Very cute and a very wise Mama. Welcome to the streamline club ;) Get rid of any unnecessary stress!!! :)
I bought Josie an eye glass strap to keep her glasses up on her nose. I got SO tired of telling her to not look over her glasses! Now they stay put. A $10.00 fix.

Almond Tea said...

If it brings peace and ends day to day battles- do it! Great job, K. Hair just isn't an important enough issue to cause such strife.

Anonymous said...

Very cute! She even looks older. Most of us non-adoptive moms reach this point around second grade, and daughters have to "earn" the long hairstyle back. It takes most of them A Long Time.

Jennie said...

The new hairdo is very becoming and she looks lovely! Great job, Mama. Easier on the shampoo as well.