Wednesday, August 12, 2015

It's Official

I received a call today from the Regional Center. Blossom has been found to have "intellectual deficiency" which, the man explained, is the new term for mental retardation. I am not offended by the word retarded. In music, retard, is a term that means to slow down. Here is the dictionary definition of retardation:

re·tar·da·tion rē′tär-dā′shən)
n. 1.
a. The act or process of delaying or impeding.

b. The condition of being delayed or impeded.

2. The extent to which something is held back or delayed.

3. Something that retards; a delay or hindrance.

4. Often Offensive: Impaired intellectual development.

5. Music A diminishing of tempo; a retard.

She definitely has a condition of being delayed AND impeded. Being a client of the Regional Center means that she will have life-long help as long as she needs it. No one is putting any limits on her potential and the programs are designed to help her reach her greatest potential. She will be supported in adulthood by programs that will help her be as independent as possible while contributing and participating as fully as she can in normal, everyday life, safely.

I will be at her side throughout this journey since all programs have cracks and need monitoring by someone who loves her and has her best interests at heart regardless of politics and budgets. As my neighbor pointed out to me, who has several adopted children with special needs, if anything happens to me, Blossom will be taken care of for life.

Meanwhile, she is registered for school and will start next week in special ed, beginning with Functional Skills, some of which will be easy for her and some not easy at all. She'll also be in a reading class. Where the school leaves off academically, I'll pick up at home so she can continue to progress in math and other subjects, especially those she finds interesting, such as geography.

Public school is a HUGE step for her since most of her PTSD has to do with school in China. When I first got her, she didn't last more than 2 minutes at our school table before having a meltdown and ending up writhing and kicking and screaming on the floor in utter panic. School in China had been too brutal, physically and psychologically for her. I will always remember the day, weeks later, when she finally accepted that school at home with me was completely different than school in China and she finally allowed herself to focus and understand her school assignment and start working on it, knowing I was there to help her and she said, "Mommy, thank you for helping me learn."


Anonymous said...

Hope for a great outcome!

Anonymous said...

Blessings to Blossom as she takes this big step and begins public school, and to you as you continue your journey of supporting her, now with this new (hopefully helpful and revealing) knowledge of her abilities. -Noelle

Anonymous said...

When our daughter (not-adopted) was diagnosed with autism and when the diagnosis came, I was both sad and hopeful. Now that you know what this issue is, you know how you can work with her and really know her limitations.

Hoping that she enjoys her new school and that the time she is there, allows you to focus on educating your other girls. - Carol

Anonymous said...

More information is a good thing. You'll know what your level of expectations should be. Much love.

Jennie said...

Thank you for sharing Blossom's diagnosis. With this knowledge, Blossom will certainly flourish with the appropriate support. I know you are her greatest cheerleader! We are cheering you on as well.

Anonymous said...

I'll admit i've said some not so nice things on your blog before. I think your writing style is a bit more harsh than what i'm used to. But you know what? I'm sorry. I want you to know that I SO appreciate that you write about the truth of older child adoption. I don't want the mean messages to scare you away from blogging. It is so important that honest resources like this exist. Of course you're not going to share every second of your life and context for every single thing that happens, and that's fine. I come back to your blog time and time again for perspective and encouragement.

Almond Tea said...

Wow. This is heartbreaking on so many levels. I'm really surprised at the diagnosis, because she seems to be able to recall and remember so many things.

I'm sorry, K.