We had a great morning. We were close and their hearts opened to me and each other.
We had a good experience doing some charity work at church making blankets for Project Linus.
We had a great lunch at church.
Everyone behaved very well.
We had a good afternoon.
The open hearts from this morning lingered. They felt my love. They felt secure. They wanted to share...
..and memories of life in China seeped into the discussion.
Anxiety levels rose. Slowly. Steadily. I knew it was coming.
Blossom sabotaged herself in a minor way at bedtime but it led to a crying fit. I handled it well. She handled it well. It didn't develop into a full-blown tantrum.
I saw the look on Jie Jie's face before she got ready for bed, verge of tears but distancing herself from it. She squeezed me so tight giving me a bedtime hug, it actually hurt. Now she is up and it's nearly midnight. She can't sleep, haunted by the mystery of her life in China. She calls it "China stuff." She's got memories of feelings, very, very, very early ones. It's astonishing what she can remember from so early in her life. It bothers her that she can't remember it enough to put it into words.
Sissy is up, too, still in her bed but restless, sometimes dozing off and talking loudly in her sleep.
It's so hard for them to accept love and feel safe and secure in it. They want it. They crave it. They can't seem to stand it.