Friday, October 23, 2015

Conversation Today With Sissy

Me: I notice that the sun still bothers you. Why haven't you used your Christmas money to buy sunglasses?

Sissy: I already have sun glasses.

Me: Why don't you use them?

Sissy: Because....... (about a 20 second pause) ........I don't have a reason.


Cristy Claxton said...

One of the things that is so hard with cognitive issues is that it's so hard not to have our hopes, dreams and expectations be based on their age. I think it's a grief process to realize that our children may never gain the tools necessary to be independent. It's easy for us to compare, or to have too high of expectations for kids with mental and cognitive deficits. I have often said that this is a harder special need than my daughter in a wheelchair. While I will never be shocked that she doesn't sit up or walk because of her special need, I do find myself frustrated with her sister and have unrealistic expectations of her despite her Auditory processing diagnosis. I have to frequently remind myself that she cannot help it. We never give up trying to develop compensatory strategies, but I also don't want to have unrealistic expectations. It's such a tight walk balance. Wishing you the best as you come to terms and manage all of your girls special needs! Hugs!

K said...

Thank you, Cristy!

Nicole said...

Yesterday I decided my daughter was going to take care of the meal.
It asks me to be there and full of patience.
She is now 30 years old but is mentally between 4-6 years old.
She has come a long way . But she needs a special fuel : praises, encouragments, positive words !
So she can peel carrots but I have to say "good for you ! you are doing great etc...
And when she does something like washing the carrots :
- Look mum ! look !
- yes ! very good !(très bien in french)
- mum look, mum look, mum look... this is what I hear all along;
So she helped with the soup making and with the apples cooked in the oven.
I was exhausted at the end praising her all along...

And suddenly I realised that it was something she realy needs !
Praise the slittest little positive thing is what I did the day I realised I was always frustrated or cross with her...

It has worked wonders ! And we rejoice and laugh alot with her.
She has come a long way and she is such a happy young women !
Chilhood, adolescence was very hard, but now it is bliss !

That is all I whish for you and your daughters !
I must say that her faith in God helps her alot now that she is in an institution.

Nicole said...

I can't help to come and say... pfffffff sometimes it is just as hard to have
my husband make a meal !!!!!!!!!!!
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!help ! ;)

SK said...

Would your family benefit from trauma therapy? If you are able to find resources and support in your area from an experienced adoption trauma therapist you may want to dig deeper into the Sissy's trauma experience (i.e her adoption and life before joining your family). Her chronological age, versus her emotional age, versus her trauma age is something you may want to explore more. She is a teenager, but her family age / stage is 3 years old.