Monday, June 12, 2017

Long-Term Plans for My Daughters

Well, this commenter raised this very good question after my last post.

The one thing I can say for certain is that my oldest three children will not be able to live independently. They will ALWAYS need some kind of support and quite a lot since they won't be able to learn to cook more than reheating in a microwave.

Because I'm still in the learning phase as to what's available to adults with special needs, I can't say for certain what we'll be doing. Most likely, Jie Jie will always be with me. She and I get along very well and she's very content with me. As long as this suits us both, that's our current plan.

Sissy wants to stay at home, but her behavior, which is within her power to change, may necessitate placement outside our home in a group home/independent living situation. I'm trying my best to get us through the summer and see what she's like after starting the Adult Transitional Program through our public school district in the fall. We've just coming off a three day episode of bad behavior and, quite frankly, I'm just about at my limit with dealing with it. Five years of this is taking a terrible toll on me and the other children.

Blossom may want to live in a group home/independent living situation because she's more adventurous and social. Some days she says she wants to live and home and other days she wants to move out. She's only 16 so we've got plenty of time to see what will be best for her. I think that in the long run, she's going to find living at home and going to a day program just the right balance for her. There are dangers to group homes and one of the faculty at the school where Sissy will be in the ATP this fall told us that her friend's daughter was in a group home and that she had to share a room with a woman who would get up in the middle of the night and punch her in the face. This happened several times before the woman was moved to a more secure place.

There are no easy answers and no perfect solutions. There are pros and cons to every single decision I have to make. The weight of it all is staggering.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Totally Grossed Out

It's been a week with a couple of particularly gross things.

First, we had a friend come and visit us. She used our bathroom politely, but I noticed she'd taken her purse into the bathroom with her. Several days later, on trash day, Blossom was doing her usual chore of emptying the smaller wastebaskets into the bigger one to put outside for pickup and I happened to walk into our laundry room just in time to see her reach into the guest bathroom trash and pull something out. It was a used tampon applicator (in the wrapper, like I said, my guest was polite), but Blossom saw something new in the trash and just had to see what it was, despite millions of admonishments that what's in the trash stays in the trash and it's dirty and we don't touch it.

The other gross happening was at our zoo's yearly event for families with kids with special needs. Across the food courtyard I saw a small girls, about 14 months old, toddling around with a diaper so full that it hung out of her shorts and nearly to her knees. I figured that no mom would let her baby be that wet without a good reason, so I figured maybe she ran out of diapers. I went up to her and asked her if she needed a diaper and she said, "No thank you. I know it looks awful, but I use 12 hour diapers."

I'm pretty sure that when the diaper companies came out with an advertisement for 12 hours diapers that they meant to reassure moms that the diaper would not leak overnight. However, this mom at the zoo truly took that to mean she didn't need to change her baby for 12 hours!